


U wnt sum fuk?

by a_nonny_moose



Category: Markiplier Egos
Genre: M/M, shitpost
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-17
Updated: 2017-09-17
Packaged: 2018-12-30 18:01:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12114192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_nonny_moose/pseuds/a_nonny_moose
Summary: Because epiclemonadex3 asked me to.





	U wnt sum fuk?

Bim slips into Dark’s room, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

Dark looks up from his paperwork for a moment to see him come in, and a soft expression crosses his face for a moment. “Darling, how are you?”

Bim comes closer, half in the shadows of the darkened room. Silent.

Dark looks up again to find Bim leaning over the desk, his face in shadow. Concern flits across his brow. “Bim?” he says, almost wary. 

Bim leans closer, and he’s nose to nose with Dark when he speaks. “Lemme smash?”

Dark blushes, jerking back. “I’m working,” he snarls, but it doesn’t sound entirely convincing, and it doesn’t hide the blood rising to his cheeks.

Bim is kneeling on the desk now, on top of Dark’s papers, smudging the ink. “Please?” he says, fluttering his eyes, and Dark feels his breath catch in his throat.

He tries to laugh. “Go find Warfstache,” he jabs, trying to rescue papers from underneath Bim. 

Bim shifts, and the paper Dark was pulling at slides out easily. Dark falls backwards a little, his chair rolling into the wall behind him. “Bim, really,” he scolds, looking at the ripped paper. 

“You want some fuck?” Dark looks up to see Bim nearly posing on his desk, half the papers on the floor, a smug smile on his face. 

It’s all Dark can do not to laugh. He leans over to pick up his pens, chuckling, “No, darling, I don’t–”

“I got you blue.”

Dark glances up to see Bim holding his blue pen– his <i>good</i> blue pen– in his teeth, wiggling his brows. 

“You want some dick?” Bim says through his teeth, winking, and Dark feels the blood drain from his face, going… elsewhere. 

Dark clenches his jaw. Control. “Your dick is small,” he mutters, stooping to pick up papers. 

The pen drops from Bim’s teeth. “What?” But he recovers, scrambling off the desk to stand over Dark, still sitting in his chair. “Swiggity swooty,” he whispers in Dark’s ear, giggling like a madman as Dark swats him away. 

Dark collects his papers and the spit-soaked pen, struggling to keep his composure. “What’s gotten into you?” he starts to question, turning to Bim.

Bim has <i>another</i> pen in his mouth. “You want yellow?”

Dark turns away, head in his hands, swallowing giggles. He hears Bim spit out the pen behind him, sadly. “He doesn’t want yellow.”

Dark snorts, and Bim takes the opportunity to shove <i>two</i> pens in his mouth as Dark turns back around to tell him off. “Blue and yellow?” he says around the pens, spit dripping. 

Dark is disgusted. 

“No?” Bim lets the pens drop, grinning ear to ear. 

“Bim,” Dark sighs, looking at his destroyed, spit-stained office, “I’m leaving.” With that, Dark stalks through the door, shaking his head. 

“What? No!” Bim scrambles after him, shoving papers back on the desk. “Wait, lemme smash!”

He pauses, sitting back on his heels in the mess of Dark’s office. “What has my life come to?” Bim takes a moment to give himself some melodramatic silence. “Wilford thought my dick was big, but Wilford is smashing Host.”

He thinks for a second. “Host is a hoe.”

Bim looks around at the office. “Fuck this office! Fuck Host!” He yells into the hallway, where he knows Dark is listening. “I need you, Dark! Dark, lemme smash!”

There’s no response, and Bim takes another look around him. “Imma get that demon some paperwork. Demons love paperwork.”

He picks up a handful of papers and flips through them before setting them down with a scowl. “Wrong paper.”

It takes him twenty minutes and a few papercuts, but Bim rifles through the office for the page Dark was working on. “Paper? Paper? Paper? Paper? Paper? Paper? Paper? Paper? Paper? Need paper.”

Finally: “Got paper!” Bim runs out of the room, waving it in the air. “Dark! Lemme smash!”

<hr>

Somewhere else in the office, the Googles are doubled over laughing, watching the security feed, and Wilford is fuming. 

“Well, it is big!”


End file.
